


When you think you'll lose someone

by Readerofnone



Series: Johnny/Dallas prompts [2]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerofnone/pseuds/Readerofnone
Summary: Johnny had always dreamed of romantic relationships.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Series: Johnny/Dallas prompts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564264
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	When you think you'll lose someone

Johnny had always dreamed of a romantic relationship when he was young. Head filled with the fantasy of large weddings and intimate mornings spent with someone dear. These dreams stopped around when he was thirteen the glittering shine stripped off of his fantasy revealing it to be no more than an illusion, for who was he expected to marry other than a woman, and Johnny may not be the smartest greaser around but he knew when he wasn't interested in something.

Sure he thought girls were all right, he didn't hate them but he didn't like them in the same way the gang seemed to. He liked Sandy she was nice, but then she left Soda so she couldn't be that nice. So Johnny didn't even try to date always saying that he had better things to do when the guys asked, I mean what would he do when they looked at him with disgust after finding out he liked men, they would probably kick him from the group.

So Johnny was careful to guard his secret no matter how it made him feel, he would do anything to keep near his friends, no matter the cost.

When Johnny met Dallas was when he realized that he might like men, before he thought he was just uninterested in either. Dallas brought out a different side in him he felt safe telling Dallas things about himself, nothing too big but he talked about his dreams and liked how Dallas would just listen without making him feel like wanting to leave was betraying the gang, like he was wrong for dreaming of moving somewhere without the social divides. Dallas was there to pick him up after every fight so it was only natural for Johnny to cling to him.

There were times when he thought of telling Dally but Johnny had no clue what he would do if he didn't want to be near him. He would look at Dally sometimes and see his blond hair and icy eyes and think, I could just fall in love with you.

The thing about almost losing someone is you grow to appreciate them more, Dallas had been watching Johnny at every chance he got, he knew what he would do if he lost him again, knew what he almost did and vowed to not let it happen again. Johnny slept with him in his room at Bucks always within arms reach in the small bed, Johnny would wake up with nightmares sometimes and Dallas would just pull him closer to his chest and mutter about random things till Johnny fell asleep. 

Dallas was so scared of losing Johnny that he got nightmares of his own, always about weird stuff like his teeth falling out. Johnny needed sleep so Dallas would calm himself, spending nights looking at Johnny fast asleep and assuring himself that they were both safe. The thing about watching someone for so long is that you start to think about them more often, almost like they were imprinted in your brain. Dallas would find himself thinking of how Johnny would scrunch up his nose or how his eyes lit up when he saw Dally before Dally would remind himself that it wasn't his place to think of Johnny like that, he wasn't allowed to have these thoughts about men, and one thing he knew was that he shouldn't bring Johnny into his sinning ways.  
Still Dallas would sometimes look at Johnny and just think, If only you loved me back.


End file.
